Booklist & Must-Haves:
by Milan Kundera
The Annotated Legends (Dragonlance)
The Princess Bride
LotR journals and jewelry on this site
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Atrophy, according to Merriam-Webster, is a form of a wasting away or progressive decline. In other words, degeneration. I fear that I am afflicted with this, shall we say, phenomenon. I am atrophying into immaturity. To be more precise, to the high school version of myself. I am talking about this ridiculous infatuation I have with my COMTECH teacher, otherwise known as /18 (read as slash 18). I simply can not help it. Or maybe I can. The flesh is just weak at this point in time. I repeat, I can not help it. I become absolutely giddy at the sight of the man! Argh! I am reduced to a giggly simpleton, taking pleasure in every smile, every glance in my direction. As I am writing this I am becoming more disgusted at myself, but I simply have to express this or else I might scream. Scream in frustration at myself, in dismay, in mirth, in embarrassment. Argh! Hahaha. It's a miracle that I am able to learn something in his class and not get (too) distracted by the man himself. Then again, intelligence has always been my measure of a person, and my means to impress. I guess being a little too attentive and, err, enthusiastic towards the lesson is a sign of my silly infatuation. Enough of this silliness! Till next Tuesday, hahahaha. =p***************
I tried playing RO to relax, but alas, it did not work. I was too restless for the game's monotony (even with almost 0 to minimal lag). I found myself thinking of blogging, of Sir Tubo (not again!), of C++, and of the e-book I am presently reading. Maybe the drive to play will come back with Fenrir and DSL. But not the addiction. This term is too important to mess up.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Warning: heavy sarcasm starting from the 2nd paragraph...
School report: so far so good. It's only been the 2nd week of school though. I have my first test, in COMTECH of all subjects, on the 29th. Oh happy days, hahaha. I seriously do not know how to begin to study. I guess I'll just let the slides serve as my guide and then read more on the topic from there. Nothing much to post. There are no thoughts to organize except for facts accumulated from today's lectures. I hope I get some decent sleep tonight. This is not yet the time for an insomia attack. That should come during the crunch and hell weeks. ***************
Scratch that, there is
something to rant about. Come to think of it, there's something to rant about after every phone call from my lola. My left eye has been twitching for some time now. It ceases a little when I get enough sleep, but the twitch returns a few hours after I wake up. For a period of time it would sting whenever I put Tears Naturelle on it. I've been meaning to have it checked up but didn't have the time last term. My grandmother dismissed the twitch and the stinging feeling when I told her about it. Perhaps, being a patron of the "invented aches and pains" herself (when she fakes dizziness and all that stuff), she thought that I had just invented the stinging sensation. That it was all psychosomatic. Which is a barrel of laughs considering that I abhor physical pain of any sort and would rather submit myself to emotional torture than prolonged physical torture (read: physical activity). But then, given that she knows absolutely nothing about me except the sides that I show her, it's not surprising that she doesn't know this. But I digress. I finally found a free spot Friday morning to go and have my eye checked at American Eye. I assume that being the successful institution that it is, its opthalmologists and optometrists are more than capable of giving me a diagnosis. Apparently my grandmother thinks otherwise. Ah, once again, the folly of trying to establish some form of normalcy in my family life involving my grandmother. Take a hint Tala, IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE, SO STOP TRYING.
My lola opposed the plan. And in such a vehement manner that even I was rendered speechless for a time! Apparently, she doesn't trust the physicians at American Eye. She doesn't think they are skilled enough to be worthy of the term doctor. Except for one possibly, some Doctor Espiritu. Why was he exempted? Why, for the logical and very factual reasoning that he (Espiritu) is the son of my grandfather's classmate at PGH. And we all know that my grandfather is the greatest doctor in the world in my grandmother's eyes- even greater than the Nobel Prize winners of Medicine. He can diagnose and cure and operate anything curable and "operatable" (if there is such a word - I doubt it though) according to my grandmother. Still according to my lola, when I go to American Eye, I would just be passed around to other doctors who will claim to be specialists and will demand more money from me in the form of physicians fees. Ah, we come to the source of this opposition at last. Money and professional competition. My lola says that doctors do this all the time, except of course, her and my lolo. I would agree that some doctors do this. But not all. She says that the reason the doctors at American Eye became rich was due to this practice of referring-and-charging. Jealousy rares its ugly head. My lola is the most jealous person I have ever known, though she denies it. She claims that she is satisfied with her lot but she is lying. I can see how she envies all the doctors who became rich from practicing in the Metro while she is stuck in the province, trying unsuccessfully to beat hospital politics. She is so jealous of other doctors that she would tarnish the profession they share just to prove that she is the
better doctor. I guess I'm just too stubborn not to let this pass. I know why she's jealous. It's cause she's insecure. Because she wasn't smart enough for the pressures of PGH. She had to drop out. She may be a doctor, but I would not call her intelligent nor wise. Anyone can be a doctor. Perhaps not a surgeon, but a doctor, yes. But not everyone can be wise. And my grandmother can be the stupidest of persons most of the time.
Back to my eyes. She said that the twitch may be hereditary, as both my biological grandfather and my father have this mannerism. She said that it is psychological - a result of my tiredness or stress. By the way, she actually said that the stress might be coming from her. That the (unnecessary) phone calls may be causing me stress. This admission would have been an improvement except that in the next breath she said that she had no intentions of stopping the phone calls and that I was to deal with it. LOL. If it wasn't my life I'd laugh out loud at the freaking situation. So she says, what if I do go to the appointment and the doctor says that it's all psychosomatic and psychological? What if, oh horror of horrors, my friends hear this diagnosis? *Gasp* They'd think I'm psychologically imbalanced! That I'm a psychotic! Oh what shame to the family name?! Oh what an indiscretion! To quote her, "Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga tao?"
Ugh! I hate hate hate hate HATE that attitude of hers! So conscious of what other people will think! Such a fucking provincial mindset! Everything's about image! Lie just to keep your image! Better to die than to have that image tarnished! Fucking faker. That's what she is, after all, a faker. What family name? Are we royalty? Not even close! And so what if my friends hear that the doctor thinks that I'm a psycho? They're not hearing anything new. I AM
A PSYCHO! Isn't that the reason why we're friends in the first place? At least I know and admit that I'm psycho. My lola is the biggest psycho around, and she doesn't even know it. Psych major pa naman sya... As for discretion and image, I'd bet she's die once she knows that I've broadcast this on the Internet, hahaha. So much for secrets.
I feel immensely better. Now I can study for COMTECH and ECONTAX.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
According to someone from the Ragnaboards, here's my horrrscope for this week:
VIRGO (August 23–September 22)
It's time for you to be totally straight with someone you care about, Virgo. Even if it's a little awkward to be completely honest, find the right time and place for this important conversation. No matter what the outcome, both of you will know where you stand.
Hmm, I wonder who this someone you care about is? I learned a new word today. Actually, I've been long familiar with this word, but this is the first time I searched for its "dictionary meaning". I used Wikipedia by the way. I think it's one of the more useful dictionary-encyclopedias around.
Conscript: An artificial or constructed script is the term for writing systems which were specifically devised by humans, rather than having naturally evolved as part of a culture like a natural script. They are usually designed for use with conlangs (constructed language), although several of them also are used in linguistic experimentation. The most well-known conscripts are J. R. R. Tolkien's elaborate Tengwar and Cirth, but many others exist, such as Alexander Melville Bell's Visible Speech, John Malone's Unifon, or the Klingon script. (On a side note, I just learned that a Klingon Language Institute exists. Wow.)